* * * * *
* * * * *
IF JANE AUSTEN WAS A TEXAN . . .
If Jane Austen was a Texan, she woulda have born in Kerrville in 1775, ‘bout the same distance n DI-rection to Austin as Steventon was from London.
(We’re still tryin’ ta git the Texas Legislative to change the name of the capitol Austin from ‘i’ to an ‘e’, but Steven F would probably be spinnin in his grave.)
Her pappy woulda bin a Southern Baptist minister, havin’ studied up in Abilene in the seminary – agin, the same distance n DI-rection from Kerrville as Steventon is from Oxford.
She woulda started writin’ in 1795. Her first book was titled, ‘Fust Footpaws’, but her publishers up in Austin, ‘True Western Adventures”, changed her mind to the title:
PRIDE (as in, I’m proud to be a Texan) AND PREJUDICE (again’ all dem ‘damn Yankee, gringo, Carpet Baggers and ‘bloody Englishmen)
It woulda open wit the line famous in Texas lore, “Ít is the gawd dang awful thruth that a rancher who is unhitched, wit lots a cattle, is hankerin’ for a missus who’ll fixin him breakfast wit grits, eggs and steak”.
Her utter books were includin Sance ‘n Sance’bilty, Mansfield Ranch, Emmer, Pur’shay’un n Northunger Alley.
After her daddy done retired from preachin’, they woulda lit out to Mineral Springs (agin the same distance from Bath – as the English pronounce it,’ BARTH’), where her daddy coulda takin the waters. (Da rumour that she a’fainted wen she herd the news is a dad burn Yankee lie!)
When her daddy died in 1809, they woulda stayed in Corpus Christi, where her brother was in the Texas Navy. (I’m takin a geographical liberty in that the Texas coast don’t bend to Portsmouth.)
Her utter brudder, Edward was captured by the Choctaw injuns. They adopted him and made him a blood brave in the tribe. Since he was a brave now, he changed his name to Knight – havin’ once red King Arthur’s Court. He soon convinced them to grow cotton rather than a goen’ on the warpath all the time. (As they say in Texas, ‘He was in tall cotton!’) He soon became rich, so much so that he settled Janie, Cassie and her Ma and their friend, Martha in a little ole cabin on the Guadalupe River jist outside ‘a Spring Branch. He named it Chawton Cottage, takin on aires with an Englishfied name.
When Jane got sick in 1817, she went to a medicine doctor in olde San Antone. Unfortunately she died thar and her final restin’ place was in the chapel of a Spanish mission. (‘Bout twenty yeres later, it becum famous as the ALAMO.)
Jane Austen was a true daughter of the Republic of TEXAS.
Writ by a gentle-cowpoke
The World of JANE AUSTEN
* * * * *
WHERE THE MEMBERS ARE
The geographic center of the members, called the “Jane Austen Centre,” is approximately located in Southwest Austin at the Lady Bird Johnson Wild Flower Center. Please click on the link for an interactive map: Interactive Map. Have fun!